hello

i'm a woman of filipino decent. i have yet to visit the motherland. i will get there one day. i believe it's important to know where your roots come from. i discover more about my culture through the people i meet and engaging with my own intuition. we are never really disconnected from where we came from. our ancestors are always with us and if we're open enough, we find ourselves through their journey too.

 

where to begin? the earliest memory of writing poetry in my dollar store journal, was about love. i was a tender eight years old (i think). you're probably wondering, "an eight year old writing poetry about love? that's crazy!" is it though? if we narrow it down to the core of it all, we are creatures of love. searching for it, craving it, and needing it to survive. if we're really lucky, we can thrive. i recall asking my mother in our florescent lit kitchen, "how come love is something we can't measure scientifically, but we need it to live? we can't weigh it, size it, place it under a microscope and say 'this is the answer to life's questions' " i was 17.

 

i've been honing my artistic expression since then and i can't stop. i refuse to. it's the fire that burns so brightly, it can sometimes be blinding. i'm moved with gratitude for the opportunities it's given me; for the love rooted deep inside of me. it's carrying me through all of life's challenges. i found the love that i've been writing about. i feel the love i've been craving for. it's the biggest one we can have;  it's the love we give ourselves first and foremost. i learn new aspects of it, each day.

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before knowing how to love myself first, i tried to learn how to love others. before this, i was obsessed with it. possessive of it, tried to control it. i've finally found the space in between the pendulum swing. if ever it swings too far left or right, i will always have this light in the darkness within, to guide me through to the other side. i continue exploring the path and it's brought peace to what can be, a chaotic world. i am unstoppable. and sometimes weak in the knees. but i get back up, to live and love again.

 

in sharing my journey with you, i hope it empowers you to do the same for your self. i hope it ignites a spark or fans the flame that burns with desire in your soul; to never give up on your dreams and always find ways to live your life authentically. just for you. an invitation to feel.

 

life is not perfect. it's raw. it's gritty. it's a salt rimmed glass, a vessel for delicious cocktails of poison we consume to wash away fears and boredom. break down barriers. often times just to get fucked up, for the hell of it. life also has softer edges. it's the smell of lavender as you walk down a city street, plucking the bud from a bush as it stains your finger tips with its  scent. it's a cotton candy cloud, swirling around your tongue, as the sugar melts and dissolves leaving pinks and blues behind.

 

find the beauty in it all. it's what the Universe intended.